As I approach 41, I'm doing a little soul searching. Not the 'Where is my life going? Will I ever find love?' type of searching. I'm good with that. I'm talking more social interaction soul searching, such as 'Why don't I get along with most other women?'
I recently switched desks at work and it was a good move. I now sit by myself in a little hole and I love it!
And I can honestly count on one hand the number of female friendships I have. And the weird paradox is that most of my followers on this blog and ones that follow me on Bloglovin' are 99% female. But I only share snippets of my life with you. You've never met me in person. We share a common interest - fashion, although many of you have told me how much you enjoy my writing style and that I make you laugh. Am I like this in person? Yep. But I'm even raunchier. I'm skeptical, goofy, and pissy. I will give you my honest opinion even if you didn't seek it out. I don't have time for sugar coating things with people. I'm also shy and introverted and typically won't say hello unless you've addressed me first. A lot of people mistake that character flaw as conceited or bitchy. I'm quick to criticize but hate it in return. I'm also fairly intelligent and think most women I come into contact with are missing a few bulbs. I'm a quick talker and jump to different subjects and will often finish your sentences before you realize it's what you were going to say. I don't make time for mindless dribble, slow talking, and people that can't rise to the challenge of bettering themselves. If I'm in a conversation with a slow talker, I lose interest. If it's superficial babble, I'm already in my head entertaining myself with my own thoughts.
And don't get me started on women liking football and beer. Paleeze! Do you really? Or is it just a carryover from sorority days or an excuse to bond with men? I detest cliques and sororities fall into that realm. I don't play games at parties (yawn) and I really can't stand talking on the phone.
Wow! I sound like a dude.
So as you can see, not a lot of bonding opportunities for me with other females. I have no qualms of doing things by myself. Eating at a restaurant alone? No problem. Going to the movies alone? Sure. Going shopping alone? Fine with me. I don't need the company of a pack of women to go to the bathroom. That's actually a big pet peeve. I'm not going to the bathroom to talk and there is no need to sit in the stall next to me and keep me company. Distance yourself, please. I have business to do.
And yet after all this, I'm actually going to tea with a lovely friend from high school who happens to share the same birthday as me. It's a mother, daughter, sister thing and the six of us are driving to the tea room on Saturday in a rented limo, drinking vino on the way over and back and catching up on what's been happening in our lives after 20+ years. And next Friday, I've been invited to an after work dinner party with three other co-workers (all female). Not to mention lunch today with those same three co-workers.
So I guess my personality isn't totally repulsive. Otherwise I'd be a complete hermit. And I think that I hold the women that come in and out of my life at high standards. If you say you will be somewhere, if you invite me someplace, if you say you are going to do something, then do it. I've had too many females completely flake out on me.
The other aspect at this age that I don't share with other women is children. I don't have any so I can't really relate to those that do. It was a personal choice as I don't believe it's the natural course of life for everyone (marriage, children, etc.). I love my weekend sleep, I love being able to just pick up and go without having to find a babysitter, I love that I can spend money on myself, read a book or magazine whenever I want, and enjoy a hot bath in the evenings. I have adorable nephews and one niece that I like spending time with, but not necessarily 24/7. I see how frazzled parenting makes people, how restrictive their wallets get, and the strain raising children cause on a marriage. I also see the joy of it, but it's just never been a looming want. If it were to happen, I'd embrace it with open arms but I think that ship has definitely sailed at my age.
If I offended anyone today with my words, I apologize. Sometimes I hold back on what I really want to write about for fear that some of you won't like what I have to say and will therefore find someone else to follow. But I have to say that as much as I like seeing Chloe's outfits from The Chloe Conspiracy, what really draws me in is her writing. I love that she doesnt' hold back. She spits out whatever is on her mind and it's flippin' refreshing, thought-provoking, and entertaining. And if I lived in Colorado, I'd stalk her until she agreed to be my friend. No, I'm kidding. Sort-of.